Botanics - Lexicon

I didn't make it out to the Botanics as it was my father's birthday and we cut the cake at breakfast so the rest of the day is sweet ;-D
As I can't do the write up I leave you with a few new expressions.
Like the branches of the banyan tree of knowledge, here is some interesting vocabulary to take root in the hashers' psyche!

Larfs for the Intelligentsia

(The Washington Post runs a yearly competition in which readers are asked to submit alternative meanings for various words …)




Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled & amazed over how much weight one has gained


Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach


Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk


Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent


Negligent (adj.) to absent-mindedly answer the door in one’s night-gown


Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp


Gargoyle (n.) an olive-flavoured mouthwash


Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks one up after being run over by a steam-roller


Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline


Testicle (n.) a humorous question in an exam


Rectitude (n.) formal dignified demeanour assumed by a doctor immediately before examining patient


Oyster (n.) person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions


Circumvent (n.) the opening in the front of boxer shorts


Frisbeetarianism (n.) the belief that when you die, your soul goes on the roof and gets stuck there

Coffee (n.) a person who is coughed upon
Pokemon (n.) A Jamaican proctologist